I was blown away by y’alls support over my divorce announcement. I can’t thank you enough. I also want to be able to make this as positive as I can, and one way I feel I can do that is to share all the wisdom I’ve received from so many of you. For the first part in this series, I want to share the best advice I’ve received so far:
- Join a support/prayer group. I found one through Buckhead church and have found it very helpful.
- NO MATTER WHAT remember that the kids come first. This was the #1 tip sent in. I received so many emails from people of divorced homes that told me they had a great childhood because their parents put them first. Their parents didn’t bad mouth each other and focused on co-parenting. These emails are what made me feel so positive about this whole process. As long as the kids are happy, everything will work out.
- Exercise- you knew I’d say it. I’ll be completely honest and say that I would have lost it if it wasn’t for working out. That may make me sound like a meathead, but I don’t care. Those endorphins are SO crucial to working through this whole process. It’s also about community- if you have a fantastic crossfit or gym with wonderfully supportive women? Total game changer.
- Lean on your tribe. If you’re like me it’s hard to ask for help, but they want to help you and you’re going to need it. So lean in.
- Make lists. Make lists of all the things you want to do. Places you want to travel. Accomplishments you want to achieve. Focus on the future.
- Give yourself grace. If you need to cry, then cry. If you want to stay home all weekend and watch romantic movies- that’s ok too. Just don’t simmer in it for too long. 40% of the adult population has gone through divorce. If they can handle it, so can you. So eventually, pick it up and start working on your list. I promise, once you do you’ll start feeling better.
- Change something in your surroundings just for you. Do you want pink wallpaper? Put it up. A sparkle room? Go for it girlfriend.
- Find activities to do, books to read, or projects to complete around the house.
- I loved this exact quote from one of you: Rediscover who you are and what you love.
If you have any other advice please share it below!
I love all your posts, stories etc. You are a gem of a woman and I’ve never even met you. (I’m a good judge of character)
Haven said that, divorce is hard no matter the reason or intentions but know we are all here for you gf. And also, it all happens for a reason.
Being surrounded by friends, family and of course with the help of my pastor, I was able to get through my divorce. I had to have lots of strength since my boys were 3&1 at the time I filed for divorce. Keeping yourself distracted is always a good thing. I think the hardest part for me was at night when I was laying in bed. But you got this girl.
Sending you the best of vibes! You are an incredible woman and mother! Also a wife! Don’t forget how great you are and how much you help other people on a daily basis. I met you at a very young age but I have always looked up to your positive and energy full vibe! Always a smile on your face! Even at early workouts with freezing water! Love forever shark mate.
Life is going to be good. Change is good. I live the way you have chalked out your plans. Best wishes ?
You did get some excellent advice from us readers. Putting the kids first is always, well, first. So many parents get wrapped up in what they did to each other or how they failed each other, that the divorce turns into scorched earth with the kids in the middle. Good luck to you.
Distraction. I think that would be my divorce advice. Granted I have never been divorced and never plan on it – It’s just not in the cards for me, ever – but I can imagine distraction would be a good idea so as to not get caught up in WHAT IF thoughts.
I agree to changing your surroundings and exercising. Divorce may stress you out and exercise is a stress buster! 🙂
This is great advice! My parents divorced when I was very young and their divorce was a nightmare for me until I was an adult. I think it’s important to not let the divorce affect the kids and giving yourself grace is as equally important too.
Love your positive attitude! Major life changes are never easy, especially divorce, but this seems like sound advice.
So glad to see you and the kids are happy together. That is what is important.
Getting out and about is some awesome advice. Hanging with the kids is always a blast too.
Divorce is never easy as I have seen friends go through it. I think you are a strong woman and I love the advice you have offered in this post. Keep your chin up and I am sure you will come out on top.
I’m glad to see that you’re doing okay. I agree with some of the other comments, as long as the kids are doing okay and you’re all happy, that’s what matters.
You are stronger than you think you are. At the start, it may seem like your world has stopped spinning but no, it did not stop. It just slowed down a bit to allow you to heal. You will get back up on your feet in no time at all. Believe in yourself. Believe that this happened because something better is in the future for you. Keep the faith and rest assured that God has your back. Always.
You got this! I really admire women who soeaks up and steps forward! It’s a good step to release all the anger and talk about it.
I really enjoyed this post. Keeping busy or just relaxing (depending on the person) are great ideas. I know it is a hard road to travel but you never know what is ahead for you. I am thinking great things!
Giving yourself grace is something I’ve recently had to learn. Although I’m not divorced, I don’t always receive the same grace from others that God gives me. It’s ultimately my decision to take God’s instead of relying on someone else to offer it.
Divorce isn’t easy! My parents got divorced when I was very young and it was a nightmare. You need to do what’s right for you. You have the right idea that your kids come first. All will work out and will be fine. You got this! Hugs to you!
So sorry to hear you are going through that! My best friend is, too, so I will be sure to share these tips with her.
I couldn’t agree more – kids come first, no matter what and no matter what age. A divorce should never negatively impact a parent’s relationship with their child.
I cannot imagine how hard this is right now. I’ve been married 41 years and I am constantly struggling to keep it all together. And my kids are grown!
Such wonderful and important advice! I especially appreciate that you encourage others to seek help and lean on shoulders if they need it and allow themselves to experience their emotions, even the negative ones. Thank you! ♡
So sorry to hear about the divorce! All the advice you’ve received sounds great, though! Kids come first, for sure, and lean on the people around you. Their support can make all the difference.
When I went through my divorce I wish I would have known these things. It was a stressful, sad time but in the end I was much happier and healthier. Good luck.
Going through a divorce is hard, but this is some great advice! Everyone can learn something from these words!
Keeping busy is always a good idea. I think that’s one of the few things that will help get you through the pain.
We have a couple of friends that are going through a divorce. Although it is sad to see something like that happening – this is some really great advice!