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Happily Hughes

Divorce

Best Divorce Advice I’ve Received

April 17, 2019
Going through a divorce? Popular Atlanta Blogger Happily Hughes is sharing the best divorce advice she has received so far. See it here!

I was blown away by y’alls support over my divorce announcement. I can’t thank you enough. I also want to be able to make this as positive as I can, and one way I feel I can do that is to share all the wisdom I’ve received from so many of you. For the first part in this series, I want to share the best advice I’ve received so far:

  • Join a support/prayer group. I found one through Buckhead church and have found it very helpful.
  • NO MATTER WHAT remember that the kids come first. This was the #1 tip sent in. I received so many emails from people of divorced homes that told me they had a great childhood because their parents put them first. Their parents didn’t bad mouth each other and focused on co-parenting. These emails are what made me feel so positive about this whole process. As long as the kids are happy, everything will work out.
  • Exercise- you knew I’d say it. I’ll be completely honest and say that I would have lost it if it wasn’t for working out. That may make me sound like a meathead, but I don’t care. Those endorphins are SO crucial to working through this whole process. It’s also about community- if you have a fantastic crossfit or gym with wonderfully supportive women? Total game changer.
  • Lean on your tribe. If you’re like me it’s hard to ask for help, but they want to help you and you’re going to need it. So lean in.
  • Make lists. Make lists of all the things you want to do. Places you want to travel. Accomplishments you want to achieve. Focus on the future.
  • Give yourself grace. If you need to cry, then cry. If you want to stay home all weekend and watch romantic movies- that’s ok too. Just don’t simmer in it for too long. 40% of the adult population has gone through divorce. If they can handle it, so can you. So eventually, pick it up and start working on your list. I promise, once you do you’ll start feeling better.
  • Change something in your surroundings just for you. Do you want pink wallpaper? Put it up. A sparkle room? Go for it girlfriend.
  • Find activities to do, books to read, or projects to complete around the house.
  • I loved this exact quote from one of you: Rediscover who you are and what you love.

If you have any other advice please share it below!

Reader Interactions

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Comments

  1. Rossy says

    April 17, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    I love all your posts, stories etc. You are a gem of a woman and I’ve never even met you. (I’m a good judge of character)
    Haven said that, divorce is hard no matter the reason or intentions but know we are all here for you gf. And also, it all happens for a reason.

    Reply
  2. Jasmine Vargas says

    April 17, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    Being surrounded by friends, family and of course with the help of my pastor, I was able to get through my divorce. I had to have lots of strength since my boys were 3&1 at the time I filed for divorce. Keeping yourself distracted is always a good thing. I think the hardest part for me was at night when I was laying in bed. But you got this girl.

    Reply
  3. Val says

    April 18, 2019 at 8:41 am

    Sending you the best of vibes! You are an incredible woman and mother! Also a wife! Don’t forget how great you are and how much you help other people on a daily basis. I met you at a very young age but I have always looked up to your positive and energy full vibe! Always a smile on your face! Even at early workouts with freezing water! Love forever shark mate.

    Reply
  4. Subhashish Roy says

    April 25, 2019 at 1:41 am

    Life is going to be good. Change is good. I live the way you have chalked out your plans. Best wishes 👍

    Reply
  5. Colleen says

    April 25, 2019 at 6:32 am

    You did get some excellent advice from us readers. Putting the kids first is always, well, first. So many parents get wrapped up in what they did to each other or how they failed each other, that the divorce turns into scorched earth with the kids in the middle. Good luck to you.

    Reply
  6. GiGi Eats says

    April 25, 2019 at 7:00 am

    Distraction. I think that would be my divorce advice. Granted I have never been divorced and never plan on it – It’s just not in the cards for me, ever – but I can imagine distraction would be a good idea so as to not get caught up in WHAT IF thoughts.

    Reply
  7. Snehal says

    April 25, 2019 at 7:02 am

    I agree to changing your surroundings and exercising. Divorce may stress you out and exercise is a stress buster! 🙂

    Reply
  8. Christine Weis says

    April 25, 2019 at 7:46 am

    This is great advice! My parents divorced when I was very young and their divorce was a nightmare for me until I was an adult. I think it’s important to not let the divorce affect the kids and giving yourself grace is as equally important too.

    Reply
  9. Marcie W. says

    April 25, 2019 at 8:45 am

    Love your positive attitude! Major life changes are never easy, especially divorce, but this seems like sound advice.

    Reply
  10. Cindy Gordon says

    April 25, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    So glad to see you and the kids are happy together. That is what is important.

    Reply
  11. Tiffany La Forge-Grau says

    April 25, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Getting out and about is some awesome advice. Hanging with the kids is always a blast too.

    Reply
  12. Brianne Manz says

    April 25, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    Divorce is never easy as I have seen friends go through it. I think you are a strong woman and I love the advice you have offered in this post. Keep your chin up and I am sure you will come out on top.

    Reply
  13. Cinny says

    April 25, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    I’m glad to see that you’re doing okay. I agree with some of the other comments, as long as the kids are doing okay and you’re all happy, that’s what matters.

    Reply
  14. Annemarie LeBlanc says

    April 25, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    You are stronger than you think you are. At the start, it may seem like your world has stopped spinning but no, it did not stop. It just slowed down a bit to allow you to heal. You will get back up on your feet in no time at all. Believe in yourself. Believe that this happened because something better is in the future for you. Keep the faith and rest assured that God has your back. Always.

    Reply
  15. Emman Damian says

    April 25, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    You got this! I really admire women who soeaks up and steps forward! It’s a good step to release all the anger and talk about it.

    Reply
  16. Romy Schorr says

    April 25, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    I really enjoyed this post. Keeping busy or just relaxing (depending on the person) are great ideas. I know it is a hard road to travel but you never know what is ahead for you. I am thinking great things!

    Reply
  17. Tamara | This Mom's Delight says

    April 26, 2019 at 6:22 am

    Giving yourself grace is something I’ve recently had to learn. Although I’m not divorced, I don’t always receive the same grace from others that God gives me. It’s ultimately my decision to take God’s instead of relying on someone else to offer it.

    Reply
  18. Christine Weis says

    April 26, 2019 at 7:51 am

    Divorce isn’t easy! My parents got divorced when I was very young and it was a nightmare. You need to do what’s right for you. You have the right idea that your kids come first. All will work out and will be fine. You got this! Hugs to you!

    Reply
  19. Amanda Martin says

    April 26, 2019 at 8:35 am

    So sorry to hear you are going through that! My best friend is, too, so I will be sure to share these tips with her.

    Reply
  20. Lisa Favre says

    April 26, 2019 at 9:50 am

    I couldn’t agree more – kids come first, no matter what and no matter what age. A divorce should never negatively impact a parent’s relationship with their child.

    Reply
  21. Terri Steffes says

    April 26, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    I cannot imagine how hard this is right now. I’ve been married 41 years and I am constantly struggling to keep it all together. And my kids are grown!

    Reply
  22. Sara | mshealthesteem.com says

    April 26, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    Such wonderful and important advice! I especially appreciate that you encourage others to seek help and lean on shoulders if they need it and allow themselves to experience their emotions, even the negative ones. Thank you! ♡

    Reply
  23. Crystal // Dreams, etc. says

    April 26, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    So sorry to hear about the divorce! All the advice you’ve received sounds great, though! Kids come first, for sure, and lean on the people around you. Their support can make all the difference.

    Reply
  24. Nicole says

    April 26, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    When I went through my divorce I wish I would have known these things. It was a stressful, sad time but in the end I was much happier and healthier. Good luck.

    Reply
  25. Heather says

    April 27, 2019 at 12:08 am

    Going through a divorce is hard, but this is some great advice! Everyone can learn something from these words!

    Reply
  26. Fatima Torres says

    April 27, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    Keeping busy is always a good idea. I think that’s one of the few things that will help get you through the pain.

    Reply
  27. Becca Wilson says

    April 28, 2019 at 9:10 am

    We have a couple of friends that are going through a divorce. Although it is sad to see something like that happening – this is some really great advice!

    Reply
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Ok today was too fun in #stories! I hope y’all k Ok today was too fun in #stories! I hope y’all know how much I enjoy talking to each of you! You are what makes this job so fun! What do y’all want to do next Talk About it Tuesday? And how do you feel about lives for Favorite Friday? 
#womenempoweringwomen #ltkfamily #familyblogger #divorce
Happy Monday! Here’s a partner workout with a li Happy Monday! Here’s a partner workout with a little behind the scenes of our shoots. @chelseapatricia is a patient woman. What workouts do you want next??

Squat to high five/punch 4x1:00 
Push up to high five 4x:30
Crunch to high five 4x1:00 

#womenempoweringwomen #workoutathome #postpartumfitness
You know what gets me excited to work out? New ath You know what gets me excited to work out? New athletic wear! @jcpenney has so many cute choices for the whole family! I am loving the new Women’s Xersion line (more shown in stories), which has their new EVER AIR technology, plus Quick-Dri wicking and ventilated fabrics, all ensure you stay cool and dry while getting your body moving. #AllAtJCP #ad
I’ve talked about #performixsst before and it’ I’ve talked about #performixsst before and it’s honestly what’s getting me through the beginning of 2021/distance learning/work. With energy, increased metabolism and mental focus I’m able to get everything done + a work out! Head to my stories to hear more, and don’t miss out on your chance to use my code “JESSICA20” for 20% off online!  #performixpartner #performix
As requested, here are some at home booty workouts As requested, here are some at home booty workouts you can do. If you don’t have a weighted ball you can use a dumbbell, cat, dog, small child etc... 😂 

Side Squat Walks- burn it out x4 (at least :30 seconds)
Deadlift 3x12 
Squat to Throw 4x10

#womenempoweringwomen #squats #athomeworkouts #postpartum
If you’re looking to jumpstart your New Years re If you’re looking to jumpstart your New Years resolutions/health journey I highly recommend Performix SST #performixpartner. It is an all day timed release energy supplement that not only gives you that extra boost, but it also helps burn fat and increases mental focus. Who doesn’t need that?! Use my code JESSICA20 for 20% off online on performix.com! #performix #performixss
Follow Along @HappilyHughes
Ok today was too fun in #stories! I hope y’all k Ok today was too fun in #stories! I hope y’all know how much I enjoy talking to each of you! You are what makes this job so fun! What do y’all want to do next Talk About it Tuesday? And how do you feel about lives for Favorite Friday? 
#womenempoweringwomen #ltkfamily #familyblogger #divorce
Happy Monday! Here’s a partner workout with a li Happy Monday! Here’s a partner workout with a little behind the scenes of our shoots. @chelseapatricia is a patient woman. What workouts do you want next??

Squat to high five/punch 4x1:00 
Push up to high five 4x:30
Crunch to high five 4x1:00 

#womenempoweringwomen #workoutathome #postpartumfitness
You know what gets me excited to work out? New ath You know what gets me excited to work out? New athletic wear! @jcpenney has so many cute choices for the whole family! I am loving the new Women’s Xersion line (more shown in stories), which has their new EVER AIR technology, plus Quick-Dri wicking and ventilated fabrics, all ensure you stay cool and dry while getting your body moving. #AllAtJCP #ad
I’ve talked about #performixsst before and it’ I’ve talked about #performixsst before and it’s honestly what’s getting me through the beginning of 2021/distance learning/work. With energy, increased metabolism and mental focus I’m able to get everything done + a work out! Head to my stories to hear more, and don’t miss out on your chance to use my code “JESSICA20” for 20% off online!  #performixpartner #performix
As requested, here are some at home booty workouts As requested, here are some at home booty workouts you can do. If you don’t have a weighted ball you can use a dumbbell, cat, dog, small child etc... 😂 

Side Squat Walks- burn it out x4 (at least :30 seconds)
Deadlift 3x12 
Squat to Throw 4x10

#womenempoweringwomen #squats #athomeworkouts #postpartum
If you’re looking to jumpstart your New Years re If you’re looking to jumpstart your New Years resolutions/health journey I highly recommend Performix SST #performixpartner. It is an all day timed release energy supplement that not only gives you that extra boost, but it also helps burn fat and increases mental focus. Who doesn’t need that?! Use my code JESSICA20 for 20% off online on performix.com! #performix #performixss
New ab workout with an advanced move at the end! M New ab workout with an advanced move at the end! Make sure to focus on form. 

Talking through resolutions in stories! What is your resolution or goal for this year? 

Full Sit Ups 3x20 
Pikes 3x12 
Sit Up Twist 3x20 each side 
Knee to Shoulder Crunch 2x10 each side 

#womenempoweringwomen #fwtfl #postpartumfitness #athomeworkouts

 

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