So I was out to dinner with my husband and some friends the other day, and they asked if we wanted to have another child. I am honestly so on the fence about this. People keep telling me: “You’ll know when you’re done.” But I honestly don’t! One day my kids are being so cute together I could die, and the next I’m cleaning poop off the ceiling. This led to a rather hilarious discussion between my husband and I – obviously fueled by some martinis.
Pros and Cons of Having Another Child
Pros:
- Newborn smell
- Newborn coos
- Newborn snores
- Newborn snuggles
- Baby snuggles
- Baby laughs
- Baby garbles
- Baby clothes
- Baby “drunk adult” walking
- Cute things toddlers say
- Sweet things toddlers say
- Hilarious things toddlers say
- Hilarious things toddlers do
- Thats it so far as our oldest is only almost 4. What do you have to add to the Pros column?
Cons:
- We will never sleep again. EVER. Our second one still isn’t sleeping through the night.
- We’ll probably never go out to dinner again either. We had trouble with 4 adults and three kids the other night- can you imagine when we’re outnumbered? EEK!
- We’ll be broke. So broke. All the cute baby clothes and diapers and wipes, and you know maybe we should save for a college education… Maybe. Hopefully one of them will be super smart or athletic and get a scholarship though…
- Alone time will also go out the window. Because at least one of the three will be needing something at all hours- right? Moms of 3 chime in here please.
- Travel. I can’t even begin to imagine traveling with another kid added to the mix! Hermit life here we come.
- Speaking of travel, we’ll probably never go on a trip again alone because no one’s going to want to watch all of our rugrats.
- I am so over wiping other people’s asses.
- I am also over finding snot, poop, food etc in my hair, on my clothes, or in my bed.
- I would like to, one day, not look perma-tired. Or is that a mom thing? Like once you pop one out it’s under eye bags for life? Inquiring minds want to know.
What do you have to add? What are the pros and cons of having another child? I’m sure there are some good ones! 😉
From the 57 year old mother of two and grand mother of two: I yearn to babysit my grand babies so that I can “smell the newborn” and “laugh with the toddler”… Yes, being in the trenches is very hard with babies, but that time passes WAY TO QUICKLY and then you would give anything to turn back the time! I have plenty of alone time and I am not “mom tired” and I can dine out anytime I wish, but would I trade it all to be back in the trenches??? ABSOLUTELY.
Mum of 4 here… At one point it was 4 five years and under. Look, you can argue against kids for financial reasons until the cows come home. Does adding to your family perhaps make you rethink where you are spending money? Definitely. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. No, we don’t have as much disposable income to buy clothes… But have you seen how clothing waste is destroying the oceans? So perhaps it isn’t a bad thing that I’m not buying myself more. When it comes to paying for education… We are the first generation that expects parents to have paid (and continue to pay) for higher education. My parents didn’t pay for my university, nor did my husband have his parents pay for his. Neither had the means to… But we still didn’t university degrees and managed to graduate without scads of debt.
Basically, when you’re considering it, leave the money out of it (unless you are completely without any means of feeding and clothing and housing existing children perhaps) and consider how that new baby would add to your family, and if you have it in you to love that kid the way you love your others. After our fourth I knew 100percent without a doubt that I would never be doing it again. My sanity couldn’t take it, nor could my body handle it again. But boy, I’m glad we got off the fence and had that 4th.
As for sleep…. Well, we’re getting more now! Number 1 and 4 our trouble ones… 1 now knows not to wake us up to tell us he can’t sleep. And 4 is slowly getting better. As for the bags, they’re there to stay I fear 😉
So much to think about! Sending you positive thoughts!!
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I have two and knew that I only wanted 2. Having an only child was not an option, so two it was 🙂
I’m a mom of two, and my girls are 13 and 7 – you couldn’t PAY me enough to think I’d like to have another one, lol. I love my kids with all my heart, and these girls have brought a world of joy into my life over the years. But another one??
Nah, I’m good. I can still have all those pros by either having a mom-of-a-newborn friend, or waiting patiently for grandchildren.
I’m a mama of 3 (4 year old son, 2 year old son, and 1year old daughter). We had only planned for 2 but lo and behold, our daughter came along. It’s really not that big a change between 2 and 3. I mean, you as parents, are now outnumbered but the biggest jump I noticed was between 1 and 2. You have to make alone time a priority. My husband and I have committed to the 12 dates in 12 months strategy after not having any dates since our middle child was born. Luckily, we live near our parents who are willing to watch our 3 kids. We do try to make our dates at night so bedtime is near for our kids. Luckily, my kids are pretty good sleepers. First STTN at 6 weeks, second was at 8 months, third was about 8 months. My younger two nap at the same time in the afternoon and my oldest has rest time so I do have some time to get things done or just browse Instagram and Facebook. ??You’ll also want to plan some one-on-one time with each kid. We haven’t traveled out of state with all three kids so I can’t add anything to that. We do get out a lot- Atlanta Zoo and Georgia Aquarium and parks and malls with indoor playgrounds like the Mall of Georgia. Double stroller and an Ergo carrier. I would also suggest not having your kids 18 months apart. It was not easy having a newborn and an 18 month old, who developmentally was more like 12 months because he was 32 weeks premature. We live off of hand-me downs, thrift store/Goodwill finds, and consignment sales. I’m a SAHM and my husband makes less than $40k a year and we are making it work. In the end, it really is up to y’all and what y’all think you’re prepared for. What kind of life can you give your kids-materially, emotionally, and experiences? Just my 2 cents as a mama of 3 littles! ?
I just had two kids. It’s all the patience I had for. I like my sleep too much.
Mom of three girls here! They are almost 25, 19, almost 18. I’m also a Mimi to 2 sweet girls. If I could, I’d have one myself. Then I babysit to get rid of the baby blues. My youngest still doesn’t sleep all night. We worked early in with her to stay in bed unless it was an emergency.
Honestly, you will know if y’all want another. People are always going to ask you about having more babies. Which I find to be an odd question to ask people. I’m weird anyway. Just enjoy the two blessings that you have; it does get better.
Straightforward and hilarious – having kids comes with its pleasures and challenges. I would have liked to have more kids but too old for that now 🙂
I have been back and forth about having another child one day. I raised my first one by myself, so that definitely weighs heavily on my decision.
Ahhhhhh hubby and I are done having kids, but every time I walk into a shop that sells cute baby stuff omg!!!! Shopping for a newborn is one of the most fun things!!! Makes me almost want another… key word, almost 😉
But what a blessing it is to have a healthy and happy baby! She is absolutely beautiful, enjoy them while they are young.
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People are asking me when I’m having another one. My son is entering his terrible twos and it’s NOT a fun. I couldn’t imagine adding another little one to the mix.
There will be a lot of crazy challenges but like they all say it’s going to be worth it. However, we’ve all been there and are we even sure we want another demanding human being in our lives? Lol. It’s definitely an interesting topic between spouses. I miss that new baby smell though. So heavenly!
It’s really important to discuss this one with your spouse as thoroughly as you can. Having another child is a huge commitment and there are factors to consider, especially since it will greatly affect the routine that you now have set up. Ultimately though, it’s up to you, those pros are really awesome!
Am actually little afraid of those mentioned on your list, but each time my Dada is with me, my worriness disappears. We are excited to have our own kid.
It is up to you what you think is best and while newborn babies are cute, like you said you are never going to sleep again. I admire how mums sacrifice their sleep to look after children x
hahaha this is so very accurate! I remember having conversations just like these before our 3rd. We still live a similar lifestyle now though even with an extra little human in the bunch. We love it. We still travel and take vacations as a family… though I’m utterly exhausted after them. But they do grow up. And when they do, I’m sure I’ll miss them being so small. So Im just savoring every moment. It gets real though – very real. And its hilarious when it does.
Lol! I loved this post. Im just a mother of one, I can’t imagine having multiples. People keep asking when I’m going to give her a sibling and I’m like “nah. Im good ” lol…they don’t understand all of the hardwork. They’re blessings, but a lot of work!
Those cons seem to heavily out weigh the pros. We are very much on the cons side of having any children. So I am not sure why anyone would want more than one! Seems like too much work! Plus, we love travelling, we wouldn’t give that up for anything. Good luck in your decision.
I am so with you in this. Nodding my head in agreement and chuckling throughout this post. Lots of pros and cons and don’t know when I will ever get a perfect night of sleep next. And there is hardly ever any “Me Time ” now. But can’t wish for my life to be any different…I know I will miss all this when they grow up:) So just go with your gut feeling and that maternal calling.